


Blame

by Adaney



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Other, POV Non-Binary Character, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 07:37:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20991221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adaney/pseuds/Adaney
Summary: You've shared every wriggling day for the last three sweeps with her. It's no wonder you thought this was real.





	Blame

**Author's Note:**

> Created: Jul 14, 2018
> 
> Written for a friend from the perspective of their character.

You've shared every wriggling day for the last three sweeps with her. It's no wonder you thought this was real. You'd been so willing to forget that she'd left you without anything to your name. She'd packed her belongings along with yours in so many boxes, ghosted with the duffel bag you bought her (the only one she ever uses, because it's from  _ you _ ), and presumably closed that chapter of her life.

It made so much sense for her to be kissing you or for her to be saying so many nonsensical apologies. Inez doesn't apologize. Inez is  _ righteous _ . It was what attracted you to her in the first place. Then, when you'd met in that corner between her world and yours, you had only an impression of who she was. Smug, certainly. You hadn't been expecting the intelligence or the ability to keep up with you or her understanding. You didn't know what you had until you lost it. You can only beat yourself up about it so much before there is no more anger left.

There isn't any anger when you wake to cold sheets and bleeding crescents in your palms. You're too tired, too defeated to feel ashamed of still wanting the person that had knocked you down below the worst you had ever been. You feel ashamed when she shows up like you had been proselytizing in your dreams, but she doesn't hold you in her arms, doesn't kiss you with apologies on her tongue and a hope of reconciliation. She doesn't look like the her you knew. There's nothing roiling in the depths of her eyes, those emotions you used to be able to read. She looks better than you've felt in months.

She sounds better too. You would say she puts as much thought into her words as she always did because you come away hurting. This isn't a fight you can win. You lost when you entered this relationship, when she'd had the self-awareness to warn you before you became something she didn't want to let go.

She told you that you'd end up hurt and it had sounded like so many clichés. She was the big bad high blood in the situation and you? You were the weak low blood, an unimportant stain of excrement. She was supposed to protect you from everything that could hurt and she had, but you hadn't listened.

“It's fine. I guess it just wasn't meant to work.” Words fall from your lips as an afterthought. There is a roaring in your ears that you wish was anger, the sign that your world would turn red and you would fight and make up as you always had, but Inez is silent. There is no repentance hidden in the depths of her eyes. She came to give  _ you  _ closure. She came because  _ you _ hadn't listened, the first time, the second, as many times as she had given you chances. You hated it. You hated that she had been right. You hated that she had waited for you in the beginning, waiting for you to catch up to her and pledged herself to you even though you know she hadn't thought you ready. You'd asked her to. You could pretend it was her fault that she had listened.

If the woman at her door was the same as the one she knew there would have been hesitation when she was asked to leave. You're forced to acknowledge that she's changed when she turns her back to you.

She left like you asked. She didn't look back. She didn't glance at you from the corner of her eye the way she did before, when she hoped you'd change your mind about something. You are forced to acknowledge she's changed the same way you forced her to shut you out of her life.

You can almost blame her for your mistakes.


End file.
